Mastermind Moyes

Specialist subject – managing on a shoestring. Chairman Bill Kenwright knows he has a unique talent on  board. No other manager has produced so much for so little. But what would it take to give the manager the funds he needs?

Well, not a miracle or anything special. Just any old, everyday, billionaire would do. There are still plenty around in Russia, the Middle East and India, so what’s the problem? After all the UK is still the favoured country for the monied elite to have at least one home. It’s safer, more civilised than most places, apart from certain areas of Manchester of course. Maybe something the Chairman said, or didn’t say. Perhaps they don’t fancy dealing with a chubby theatre producer, even if he has appeared on Coronation Street. But if that’s not sparkly enough they should know he’s standing in for Paul O’Grady on BBC Radio 2, Sunday afternoons. If that won’t persuade them, we’ll have to give up the hunt.

But some of these ‘billionaires’ aren’t all they’re cracked up be to anyway. Take that well known comedy duo Hicks and Gillett. One of them’s diving down the back of the sofa as we speak, trying to scrape some cash together. Over at United they have to find 45M a year just to pay the interest on the Glazers’ loans. Man City might well have grabbed the last sheik sitting on the supermarket shelf.

We’ll be alright. We’ve got David Moyes, not Rafa Benitez. We need a fit Mikel Arteta so Tim Cahill can start scoring again, a centre back to cover for Phil Jagielka – and most importantly loyalty from Joleon Lescott. Failing that some big bundles slipped into his back pocket. It’s money that makes the Premier League go round and we’re coping, just about. Quick – book yourself some more gigs Mr Chairman.

By KHB